Reacting

“Be kind to everyone, for you have no idea what they are going through.”

Too many times in our lives, we jump to conclusions when it comes to other people. “They were an asshole”, or “Why is that person driving like a maniac”, when we have no idea what is going on in their lives. The person who’s being rude could have just lost someone they love, and they have no idea how to cope with the empty feeling inside. That person who is driving like a maniac could have gotten drastic news, or is late to work, and if they’re late again they get fired. Circumstances, perspective, and unknowing of someone’s situation, is like the domino effect. “Every reaction has an equal or opposite reaction” thank you Sir Isaac Newton.

Reacting is something that’s hard wired into people. Something could happen to you, or someone could say something that hurts your feelings, maybe it is what they intended maybe it isn’t. How you react changes the entire situation at hand. Over the years I, myself have learned to take a step back, take a deep breathe, and evaluate the situation. I am far from perfect in this technique, but when you look at where that other person is coming from, the reaction you give them when they speak out of anger, may only add gasoline to the fire. The reaction you give someone in general, changes the outcome, like in my other blog gives you an “alternate route.”

Taking that step back, helps preserve both parties, and maybe even a relationship, whether it be friendship, lovers, or family. More often than not, we as human beings, are reactive. Like a volcano, we’ll shove our feelings, no matter what they may be, deep down, so that we don’t offend anyone, but in reality, we only end up hurting ourselves. An emotional volcano deep down in the pit of our stomach, not knowing when it will erupt like word vomit out of our mouths. The smallest thing could happen, and that word lava flows out of our mouths with not the intention to hurt whomever was the final nail in the coffin, but to release the pressure of what we have bottle up over the days, weeks, and even possibly years.

When you release that pressure it finally feels so good, to feel free from the burden of swallowing your pride and emotions, to protect the person you love, but the reality is, you just released a concoction of hurt onto someone who may have not had anything to do with how you were feeling, and those words you cannot take back once they escape from that steel trap called your mind.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but, words will leave scars you can’t see forever.

There have been words said to everyone that hurts to the core, words that resonate with you, and that you remember even when you wish you could forget. Trauma not only is physical, trauma is mental, and more times than not, mental trauma stays forever.

The cause might not be worth the effect. Take a breathe, calm yourself, gather your thoughts, and then learn how to react accordingly, because the words you say remain out in the world, whether you hear them or not.